An open letter to my best guy friend. On breaking a girl's heart.
So today you finally told me about how last month, you broke up with that girl you were dating for the past nine months or so. I had been wondering for a while what the deal was with you two going separate ways...you were just so cute together, and I always thought it was really sweet how you would always talk about her, and how she based her plans on whether or not she would get to see you. Honestly? You two were probably one of my favorite couples. You’re both such awesome people, and you always seemed so happy together.
But I get it. Love fades. You realized it wasn’t working anymore, and it was better to let it end rather than to drag it out. While I was sad to see you two part (partially, I admit, because it made people think that the newly-single you had moved on to have a thing with me like people actually asked me if we were dating and I was just, like, “Oh God, no!”), I support your decision. However, based on our conversation, you seemed somewhat lost as to what goes through a girl’s head when a guy that she loves breaks up with her, rejects her, whatever. So, this letter is my guide to you (based on my own experience with rejection), of what goes on in the brain of a girl whose heart was broken. While I really can’t speak for her, I’m going to do my best in accurately depicting what she might be feeling.
She will be angry, sad, and frustrated all at once. This is probably why she is, as you say, “still weird about the breakup.” Why she won’t even look at you sometimes. You said that you were the first person she ever fell in love with, and you broke her heart. Is it your fault? No. From a third-party perspective, you were doing the right thing. She might have even known, somewhere deep down inside of her, that it wasn’t working, either. If this is the case, she probably cared about you too much to admit that to herself and let it end. It’s understandable. When you love something as much as she obviously loves/loved you, you never want to let it go. She’s sad it had to end. She’s angry at you for ending it. She’s probably frustrated with herself. She may be blaming herself for the breakup, thinking that had she done something differently you wouldn’t have dumped her. She will later realize that it isn’t her fault at all, and it’s just the way things worked out. But it may take a while for her to get to this point.
She might get over it too quickly. Later on, she might think that she’s ready to embrace the single life once more. That she’s ready to flirt with random guys and have silly, meaningless crushes just for the pure hell of it. That she’s ready to have fun and be happy without you. But to truly get to this point, it’ll take longer than she might think. She could end up tricking herself into thinking she’s ready to get back out there when she really isn’t. And after she fails to make a good impression on some random hot guy she just met the other day, she will go home and she will cry and she will miss you. Because she loved you and it’ll probably be difficult adjusting to a life that you are no longer part of.
Quick Side Note: I’m not trying to guilt-trip you into getting back together with her. I’m just here to give you a girl perspective on heartbreak that is based entirely on my own experiences.
She will get through it. I know for a fact that she has a really great group of friends, all of whom love her and care about her. They will help her through it. If she needs to cry over it, they will be there for her. If she wants to angrily vent about what an asshole you are, they will be there for her. If she needs advice, they will give it. If she just wants to eat ice cream and watch romantic comedies on Netflix or do whatever stereotypical thing girls do after breakups, they will willingly join in. Her close network of friends are practically her sisters and they will be there to be her support system to get her through all of the aforementioned anger, sadness, and frustration. She won’t always be weird about the breakup. She might also end up doing what I do, and immersing herself in various obsessions that allow her to take her mind off of things. I got into Fleetwood Mac to get me through my first real heartbreak. What will it be for her? Whatever it is, it’ll prove to be extraordinarily therapeutic for her and she will soon be able to acknowledge that you broke her heart without getting upset.
You will always be special to her. You said it yourself. You were the first person she ever really loved. She will end up moving on, and finding some other guy who is probably superior to you in every way possible (which will be relatively easy, seeing how pretty much every other guy on Earth is, LOL). She won’t love you the way she does now, but you will still have this very small place in the back of her mind. She won’t forget all the good memories she has had with you. The day you asked her out, when you went to her plays and recitals, your dates over the summer you told me about (where you were busy with other things and didn’t get to see her as often so it was even more special). Christmas, birthdays, school dances. You were by her side for the better part of a year, and she will remember. I promise you that.
In short, she will stop loving you someday, but she will certainly never forget you.
She will never forget what you meant to her.
You’re like a brother to me, and I want nothing but the best for you.
So I hope this helped, at least a little bit.